Guests:
Lorraine
Miller – President NAACP
Bryant
Gumbel
Al
Sharpton
Tony
Blinken – Deputy
National Security Advisor
Tony
Blair – Fmr. Prime Minister of Britain
Neera
Tanden – President of CAP
Jeffrey
Goldberg
Mallory
Factor
Rich Lowry
Gregory:
OMG yet another
crazy
racist speaks out!
Obama:
I'm sick of these ignorant racist folks!
Gregory:
the owner of the L.A. Clippers
doesn't
want his girlfriend associating
with
black people and also not to
bring them near him
Sharpton:
the NBA has to get rid of this guy
Gregory:
right
Sharpton:
don't play games –
how
can advertisers be
associated
with this clown
Miller:
we need to ask ourselves –
is
there equality in this country?
Sharpton:
no
Gumbel:
I'm surprised that
anyone
is surprised
Gregory:
oh really?
Gumbel:
everyone knows Don Sterling
is
a racist and has been for years
Gregory:
cripes
Gumbel:
the NBA has covered
for
this jackass for a long time
Sharpton:
the NBA has accepted
and
excused this loon for a while
Gregory:
the President of the
United
States is pissed
Obama:
the U.S. still deals with
vestiges
of slavery and segregation
Gregory:
that's powerful stuff
Miller:
if you are silent then
you
accept injustice
Gregory:
will Don Sterling still get a Lifetime
Achievement
Award from the NAACP
now that he is famous for being a horrible racist?
Miller:
no David he will not
Gumbel:
there are racist owners
in
baseball too
Gregory:
we are learning so much today
Sharpton:
this is embarrassing
for
America all over the world
Gumbel:
this is a problem
for
the whole of society
Gregory:
what should the players do?
Gumbel:
they players have a
contract
so they should play
Gregory:
that makes sense
Gumbel:
but fans should take
a
look at owners – you know there
a
lot of black fans in the NBA
Gregory: good point Greg
Gumbel: Bryant
Gregory: well thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory:
now onto Ukraine
Obama:
there will be
consequences for Russia!
Gregory:
it's been a month and Putin
still
doesn't obey America's orders –
what
went wrong?
Blinken:
we're still applying sanctions
Gregory:
but Putin hasn't blinked
Blinken:
the ruble is trashed
and
$70 billion has fled Russia
Gregory:
so what – Putin hasn't backed down!
Blinken:
Putin is going to regret his actions
Gregory:
why?
Blinken:
it's going to wreck the
Russian economy
Gregory:
will he invade Ukraine?
Blinken:
he's got troops on the border
Gregory:
wow
Blinken:
but if he does he will have
an
insurgency on his hands
Gregory:
will you target Putin himself next?
Blinken:
we might
Gregory:
c'mon don't you want
to
prove your manhood?
Blinken:
we're not ruling anything out
Gregory:
bwaaack... bwaaaack...
Blinken:
stop making chicken noises Fluffy
Gregory:
what is the U.S. interest in Ukraine
Blinken:
because national borders
are inviolable
Gregory:
what else?
Blinken:
Ukraine gave up their nuclear
weapons
in exchange for border
security and
no one will give
up nukes again – thanks Putin
Gregory:
will we start a war in Ukraine?
Blinken:
no
Gregory:
how is middle east peace going?
Blinken:
Kerry is making progress!
Gregory:
is he?
Blinken:
we need to pause and
step
back and say – hey lunkheads
– make
peace!
Gregory:
okay
Blinken:
both sides need a time-out
Gregory:
thanks for coming
[ break ]
Gregory:
[ grinning ]
what's
the deal with Putin?
Blair:
we must very politely invite
him
to tea and then crush him
Gregory:
you say radical islam is terrifying
Blair:
the middle east has many
different
countries but there is a
growing
dangerous islamist ideology
which
is a perversion of islam in my opinion
Gregory:
what I hear you saying is
that
Barack Obama is a terrible President
Blair:
you are an idiot – and I
knew George W. Bush
Gregory:
yes but David Brooks –
who
is the wisest man in America
– said
Obama has a manhood problem
Blair:
jesus you're dumb
Gregory:
but Obama is weak on Assad
and Gaddafi
and bin Laden and
Yemen terrorists – okay
maybe
not the last three but definitely the first one
Blair:
look you simpleton – we just
need
to declare war on radical Islam
Gregory:
didn't you fuck up by invading Iraq?
Blair:
never mind that – we will
always
be at war with Islam
Gregory:
okay but invading Iraq
made
radical Islam worse didn't it?
Blair:
no that's completely wrong
Gregory:
it is?
Blair:
yes we liberated Afghanistan and Iraq
Gregory:
oh really
Blair:
we did them a huge favor
and
where is my thanks?
Gregory:
I don't know Tony
Blair:
that's nonsense – terrorism
doesn't
stop when we leave a
nation
destroyed and wrecked
Gregory:
I see
Blair:
this is not our fault!
Gregory:
so it seems to me that
you
are saying Obama is a bad President
Blair:
um no
Gregory:
try harder
Blair:
we don't need to invade
any
more countries
Gregory:
was invading Iraq a mistake?
Blair:
no because 9/11 happened first
Gregory:
but Saddam was not involved in 9/11
Blair:
look the whole middle east
is
full of wackjob violent torturing lunatics
Gregory:
so was the Bush cabinet
Blair:
true
Gregory:
what is the solution?
Blair:
just keep pushing back
against
Islamists – I will never give up!
Gregory:
does the Catholic church
have
the influence it had in the
Middle
Ages or Renaissance?
Blair:
probably not but I'm optimistic
about
the future of the Church
Gregory:
how did your faith stay strong
when
you invaded Iraq for no reason?
Blair:
faith gives you backbone when you
make
difficult and horribly wrong decisions
Gregory:
George Bush painted
your
portrait and it's frankly not good
[ shows painting ]
Blair:
lord he should have
stuck with governing
Gregory:
really?
Blair:
no probably not
Gregory:
thanks for coming Tone
[
break ]
Gregory:
what's the deal with
all
these racists lately?
Tanden:
there is still a lot of racism in America
Gregory:
right
Tanden:
not every racist is as stupid
to
say out loud what Bundy and Sterling
said
but they're thinking it
Lowry:
racism isn't as bad as
when baseball was segregated
because team owners were racists
Gregory:
Sonia Sotomayor says
race still matters
action is tying hands by someone's
back to advantage another person
Goldberg:
people were proud and
happy
and shocked that we got a
black
President but hey
guess
what – there is still racism
Lowry:
Don Sterling is a mere outlier
Goldberg:
how do you know that?
Lowry:
because Sotomayor
hates asian-americans
Goldberg:
but there are still legacy
admissions
for white college applicants
which
is also affirmative action
Lowry:
so let's help poor white people
Tanden:
newsflash – we don't live
in
a race-neutral nation
Factor:
you want to push aside
hard-working
white kids in favor of
black
kids who have more opportunities
than
poor white kids
Tanden:
more opportunities?
more
opportunities?
Factor:
darn right
Gregory:
what about Liz Warren?
Lowry:
she's a liberal rock star
which
proves Obama is bad
Factor:
the tea party also
hates
crony capitalism
Tanden:
right and left are pissed than
all
the income gains are going to the top 1%
Gregory:
Two Popes are becoming
Saints today -- will this help
them win the Super Bowl?
Goldberg:
it's brilliant politics to canonize
a
liberal pope and conservative pope
at
the same time – Pope Francis is
unifying
catholics unlike Obama
Factor:
evangelicals are powerful
and
they're not all Republicans
Gregory:
Obama was asked
about
his regrets in life
Obama:
I regret not spending
more
time with my mother
Factor:
that's classic Obama –
his
ideas are all wrong but people like him
Lowry:
I'm going to call my mother now!!
[rushes
off set ]
Gregory:
if a politician admits a
mistake
the press will attack him
Lowry:
true but the American
people
are very forgiving
Gregory:
in case I'm fired I just
want
to say I love all of you
Panel:
aww... we think you're
pretty
okay too
Gregory:
and that's another
episode of Meet The
Press
No comments:
Post a Comment